50 shades of hogwarts
by serioushpfan234
Summary: hey guys this is my 1st fanfic i suck at summaries tho so you should read! slash btw harry/ron
1. Chapter 1

50 shades of hegworts

**a/n this is my 1st fanfic hope u like it**

**a/n2 hi guys im the editor goin thru and editing evrything. its a fun job.**

**a/n3 ps. dumble died just so u guys kno the backstory :) :) ps this is the 1st guy btw**

as the clock struck 11:91, harry potter looked at his watch.

"only 9 minutes to my birhtday, then i will finally be able to do magic outside of hogwarts!" he smiled/whispered under his breath to himself, because that's the kind of person he is. he didnt want to wake ronald mcweasley who was sleeping next to him on the bed. ron mcweaselsack woke up with a start interogating "harry what are you going on about?"

"shut up you insuffrable loser" harry insinuated to ronald

"yes ma'am" ron blubered, obeediantly

hairy felt bad 4 insulting his boo, and decided to make up for it by telling him what he was muttering about.

"i'm just enjoying my first 31 minutes of being 43 years old, thats all." harry considered, "its a good thing i cast this age spell on me so i like still look like a 93 year old woman"

4 the past 30 years that ron and hery lived together (ginny and hary got divorced because harry got a sex change, and ron divorced hermione becuz hermy was a total b********h to ron 4 evry 2nd of there mariage and they were compltely incompatable from the start and J.K. rowling has no idea what gud riting is and was jk (rowling) about ron/hermione.

**a/n so funny amirite hahaahaha :D**

**a/n2 pls coment it gets my creativve jooces flo**

**a/n3 rida**

hery woke up and looke at the foot of his bed to see alot of couple presents at the side of his bed.

harry laffed "o boy i luv prezents! to bad everyone i ever loved is ded!" harry grinned exubrently. (like this : ) )

hary opened his presents and found an empty pill bottl and dog. he decided to ate both before moving on to his other presernts. then he ate both

bee4 he cud finish opening his presents, he recieved an owl that held out his leg and once he took the piece of papr the owl flew away. first it flew out of the window, then it flew in the sky, then it landed


	2. Chapter 2

chapter to: the mysterious note

hery opened the letter and red it while a naked ronald mcweazely loomed over his shoulder. renald was/is cant read, so it didnt really make much sense but whatevs.

anyways, the note sed:

_hery,_

_writing to yu cuz we are short stafed in hogwerts this year and you were the person wethough could be a teacher. you see we have decided to reach beyond the relm of what you and ronald mcweesly call typical magics and explore into the realm of the magic parts of our bodys. basicly we ned a sex ed teacher and would you belief your the only wizard in the wizarding world who hasnt been verdicted of some form of sexual abuse! so culd you pls come tech pls._

_~tysm_

_~minervah mcgonnogal_

_p.s. i can hep with crriculum d-sine if you know what i mean ;)_

_**a/n i think i used the rite wodr there 4 verdicted it said convicted first but i watched treyvn martin so i kno teh right wrod to use**_


	3. Chapter 3

chapter 4: the mysterious note part 2

**a/n i switched editor and riting role wowee!**

**a/n2 this is confirmed btw so u dont think some troll haked us**

after that harry wondered "hmm i wonder why they sent that note to us. there must be more wizards they can use but meh why not go back to hogwarts i love it there!"

ran inspired "that sounds like ea great idea harry why dont i come with you and be ur asistent"!1 !

herring potluck agreed so they decided to go right away to hogwarts so ronald weasley packed harry's presents and the gifts that harry didnt open yet becus he was 2 busy reading the notes and they took the bus to hogwarts (backstory they moved to america after they graduated because the america states is cooler (dun like dun read)

after they got off the greyhound walked into hogwarts and saw that the place was like completely empty without them because they were the adhesive remover that held the school went into minervahs' office and said; he was there but only if his best friend ron could be his assistant

minervah looked disapoint. she alleged "sure but only if ron puts cloths on right now, why dont you have cloths on ron?" it was at this point where hery realized minervah was in red and black lingere and was lying on her desk.

hery just relized that ron had not worn clothes throughout the entire bus ride and decided to take a nap.

wen hery wok up, ron was looking over him with a tiara on.

"hey big boy" harry aformentioned.

"hi" ron deduced.

harry conjectured "hey ron why are u wearing that girly thing this is hogwarts you need to be professional agian"

"its all i got in terms of thepossessions, you took them all remember?" ron articulated gleefully.

"hey ronald mcdonalds?" harry mentioned becus he started using that pet name 4 ron ever sinc harrys 44rd birthady

"yes?" ron explicated

"these blankets are not warm enof" harry insisted

"so?" ron wondered and then wailed

"so... do you want to stay warm?" harry profesised

"no" ron cakcled

"can you keep me warm at least?" harry rapped

"ive lived without clothes for the majority of my adult life, and you want me to curl up in bed with a 93 year old woman? to keep her warm?" ron wanted to leave but stayed becuz harry was his best friend forever til teh endof time + beyond + infinity

"ye man" harry agonized

"hot diggity dog!" ron shrieked which shouldve woked up minervah and the empty buidling but the door was closed so thats why it ddint

in his slep, hery reflected on how minervah felt about ron and hering sleping 2gether without her. hery felt gilty.


	4. Chapter 4

chapter 6: 1st day of school

**a/n my partner is leavin so im riting this chap all by myself hop u guys like it 3 3**

ok so the next day starrted and harry went to get up and put on clothes (but ron is a git without clothes am i rite)\ and stuff becus he couldt go to teach his class without clothes on (thatd be like tht dream that u see in shows where u dont hav clothes on at school(lolwut))

ron did the same becaus he did pretty much anythin harry did since they moved in together.

as they walked to class ron wast hinking about harry and why he didnt notice harry during the fact that he was marryed to hermine (probly because herm locked him in a closet once and he couldnt see so he couldnt notice/talk to his friend harry poter). ron thinks that harry is like the coolest person ever now since that one time harry gave ron this dragon for his birthday. the dragon ecsaped later on but thats another story comment if u want me to post it.

when theyu came to the class they saw that there was ilke 4 ppl there since like i said before hogwarts flel apart since ron an harry left. one person was hermione but ron literaly kicked her out of the class right away becuz he can and hermy sucks

the other ppl were these 2 new students named Felixa Jones and Bryana Sandoval and some kids in the back and minervah was there 2 becasue it was the first day and she wanted to make sure the class wne togood.

harry wondered why minerva was there but he diceded that it was fine anyways becus he didnt care if she was there or not. then he started class...

**a/n ok this is all im posting today pls r andr and ill keep goin tomorow peace and luv guys!**


	5. Chapter 5

chapter 5: hery's 1st weekend back at hegwerts

**a/n k i think we got kind of better at riting this so i hope u guys can read beter**

after a week back at hegwerts, hery had definitely noticed that minervah had started to really like him and meabe tring to seduce him. In fact, on wendsday, she came into his class during his talk on the proper use of a wand during

**a/n k i leve this up to ur imaginatin cuz i went to includ u guys**

so anyways even though her transfiguration class was waiting for her nad everything she just completly ignored them to watch the 49 year old that looked like he was 93 {because of his epic use of an aging potion} at work.

"so as I was saying" eluded hery, after uncomfortably stared down by mcgoony "it' always important to drink your pumpkin juice b4 plesuring your bf/gf thru means of magic"

anyways at this inquiry, mcgonnagle gave a soft sexy moan, like the griffindore lion inside her was purring gently. today she was rocking a wouldbe sexy pink wig, like that kind you see in those bad kpop video or something idk gyus.

"is you ok, miss. Mcgonnagl" stated henry confidantly and epickly.

"oh yes, Mister Potterrrrrrrrrrrr," drawing on the r'ses like a purring cat as you can see. hery was much remininded by the time where she transfigred in a cat in front of them in there 1 year and felt a strong realization that he may have accidentally sent his Transfigurfiguration

teacher into a pedofilic rage.

anyways, as the week had kept going he had the sheer impreshon that his Transfiguration teacher was kept secuding him. it was (most probly) his 2day sex ed teaching corse that led him to believe that he been (4the lak of abetter word) wanted by grannymcgonnagle.

but hary was confused (most likly a confundus charm) hery had not found the seduction revolting rather he found it... almost../... welcome... was he imperiused? surely not. he coulndt abanden ronald mcweaselberg (that was a pet name btw). after al, they had been together 4 liek 20something yrs.

butt (teehee)... mcgonnagle wanded him (see clever shewanded' him hahaha :D) and.. did he _**wand**_her to;) ;)? and after all he had saved the whole werld like 10 times at skool (trust me ur skule exprence will not be as cool as his so i would just drop out bruh).

and two(2) be onest, ron was just a little bit***h (sorry bout that i cant sware on the webs my mom watches me) and never did anything anwyhere usefull for no body so y shud hery cair bout him?

were it herys needs that matter the most?

i think so..

i know so..

i KNOW SO!

**a/n haha clifhange u so mad huh gotta read next chap :) cya next chap guys**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 : Fears Confirmed

**a/n Hey everyone, my editor and I decided to use Word Spell-check® for the next chapters or something, so hopefully that will help improve the quality of the writing. Hope you enjoy! P.S. also I got my big sis to write this chapter because it's really deep stuff man (plus it's her birthday)**

**A/N: Hi, they probably won't notice this because they asked me to publish this one. I honestly have no idea if I can help them with this but I'll see what I can do. I apologise for them (and for you because you're the poor sap who's reading this with baited breath).**

While Harry was busy teaching his class, Ron was somewhat left out after Harry went into some units that really didn't require his assistance. So Ron was left to himself almost 24/7 as Harry taught his classes and all of Ron's friends were away doing their own thing.

Naturally Ron's train of thought drifted to that of his best friend Harry, and how he was acting lately. Ron wasn't as dumb as everyone including his ex-wife thought him to be; he picked up on the signs. Regardless of whether he was aware of it or not, he felt protective and possessive over Harry Potter, and certainly had a definite feeling that Harry and Minerva were getting much closer since they returned to the school. But the strange thing was that he couldn't get over the fact that he really didn't like it; why wouldn't he want his best friend to be happy? Try as he could he couldn't stop getting some sort of resentment towards Minerva every time she walked by in the halls or when Ron stopped by the classroom, and Minerva was right there along with the students as Harry instructed. Minerva...

But then, he didn't feel particularly angry towards her. When he saw Harry, it was envy that he felt. Like toxic vines climbing up Ron's emotional walls, he felt himself turning more and more jealous as time went on. He didn't realise it though until a particular moment in his and Harry's dorm.

_"Harry, I know classes today only go until 4 past noon. What have you been doing since then?"_

_Harry seemed keen to avoid this question, and instead hurried off to his room muttering things about trust and Ron distinctly heard a comment about "it's a free country"._

As Ron's mind flashed back to these memories, his worst fears were replayed again and again in his head:

Harry Potter had cheated on Ron Weasley...

Harry Potter had _betrayed_ Ron Weasley...

Harry Potter had _**abandoned**_Ron Weasley...

Ron's feelings of jealousy and anger surged through him with every thought towards the subject, and chose to turn his attention wholeheartedly towards improving his magical ability.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**A/N: They really want me to do this again. *Sigh*. Here we go:**

As the days turned into weeks, Harry had began to notice Ron's increasing distance towards him, he seemed to have turned recluse, and spent almost all of his time in the library, reading about various potions and spells. Ron, Harry had noticed, had began doing the things that he found most strange about his ex-wife: Hermione.

This worried Harry immensely, because the man that he had known and loved since the age of 11, the blithering, bumbling, frickhead that Ron always had been was no more, and Harry knew that there had to be a reason behind it.

As Harry combed his brain for the reason that Ron had changed, Ron kept his head in the books, studying and studying. He did not know why he was so thirsty for new knowledge all of a sudden, all he knew was that it made him feel better about what was happening, or at least kept it from eating at him.

While combing through the restricted section for the umpteenth time, Ron came across a book called The Magic of Love and How to Manipulate It. Ron tried to make out the name of the author, but it was blurred out, the book looked to be several hundred years time. The brown leather cover was cracked and stiff, and the book had the distinct feel that it had not been opened for decades.

He checked the back cover but it seemed to be blank, and proceeded to open it. The moment he did, however, a surge of magical energy rushed into his head, sending a wave of emotions through his mind like a freight train. He was overwhelmed by feelings of pure exuberance. It distinctly reminded him of the love potion he swallowed in his 6th year, except he felt obsession not only with Romilda Vane, but with everyone. _Everyone_. _**Everyone**_!


	8. Chapter 8

a/n hey guyz i hop u liekd my sissy she suks riting bt she's kewl

right so ron was in luv wit everyone in hogwerats and even minervah and hary and lik everyone else so he wnet into the halls screeming HEY I LOV U ALL PLS LOV ME BACK nd smoe ppll uved him back but then snape came back and trid to kill him for usin teh spell.

snape was like hey! don't use that spell dude!

and ron was like I LOVE YOU BRAH

snape was like AVODEKEDAVRA but because Ron practiced magic so much e was like nope and smaked snape over the face with his dinglebob (he called his wand that so all of you pervs just gtfo mmkay? mmk.) and then snape was like I LOVE EVERYONE even though he didnt

anyways so then ron told snaep to gtfo bedacuase he was asucah aw frign loser in teh books and tsis story and snape ran an killd himself because he was TERIBL AND KILLED DUMBLDORE

basically snape felt really bad and stuff so he just killed himself by drinking some potion and stuff.

so yeah snape died and now Ron has to be potions master so ha.


End file.
